Excuse me while I pull my foot out of my mouth and wipe the egg off of my face. To anyone who read the post wherein I quoted Yoda saying there was do and do not, but no try - I'm sorry.
Why? Well, Tuesday, I went to see Bob - you remember Bob. He's my therapist. I was telling him about how I just haven't felt like doing anything of late. I don't want to open emails for fear there will be someone that wants me to do something. Same thing for the phone. I don't want to answer it and I don't want to listen to the voice mail. I also don't want to go anywhere. I'm in a state of "just leave me alone. Please. Don't talk to me." It's depression. My psychiatrist even told me that avoiding mail and email was one of the early signs of sliding back into a depression.
Further along in our conversation, Bob, as he always does, asked about this blog, so I was telling him about Herman Cain and how I observed that Mr. Cain must have simply decided that he was going to defeat cancer. It was stage IV - it took will. Of course, as soon as I started down this road, Bob smiled, and I knew why. I grinned at him and said I needed to shut up. But no. Advantage: Bob. He said, "No. No. Pretend you're Herman Cain. What do you think you can resolutely decide to do that would help your depression?" Of course, the answer to that question is, good sleep hygiene, good eating habits, and, of course, exercise. "So," he asked, "can you do those things?" "Well," I said, "I......." I was going to say I could try. Bob grinned because he knew that. He knew he had nailed me. I had to say "yes" or "no." I was completely stuck in my own pontificating. I wanted to say that I could try, but I couldn't say that. I certainly didn't want to commit, but I didn't want to say I wouldn't do them.
Bob came to my rescue - bless his heart. He asked me which of the 3 would be the most difficult (exercise) and then which of the remaining 2 would be easier (diet). His solution - don't start all 3 at once. Start with one meal and make it healthy and go from there. Bob gave me permission to try. He also told me Yoda's no-try attitude wasn't appropriate in every situation.
So, there you are. I didn't have the right to suggest that we with Parkinson's must "do or do not" because when it came right down to it, I shouldn't have been talking the talk when I wasn't willing to say that I would even TRY to walk the walk. I do believe that a positive attitude will make doing the things we need to do to address our Parkinson's go easier. But we don't have to be supermen and superwomen. Our situation, while difficult for us, is not an immediate life-or-death situation like Herman Cain's situation. We can take baby steps.
Last night I had a spinach salad for dinner. It was healthy and tasted wonderful. It's high on the list of brain foods. I also had more buttered bread than the law allows. The bread had no redeeming attributes other than it tasted good. Technically, I ate well. Technically, I did not eat well. But I tried!
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